by April L. Cao

Mary Beth Chapman’s Choosing to See: A Journey of Struggle and Hope, is a riveting, and oftentimes, gut-wrenching story of God’s redemptive grace in the midst of tragedy. In her casual, friend-next-door style, Mary Beth takes us from the happiest moments in the life of her large family, to the depths of despair after the sudden death of her youngest child, Maria. “I have found,” she says, “that even during those times when the path is darkest, He leaves little bits of evidence all along the way-bread crumbs of grace-that can give me what I need to take the next step. But I can only find them if I choose to SEE”.

From start to finish Mary Beth exudes raw emotion and her frank honesty drew more than one smile as she detailed life’s ups and downs in the Chapman family. Be prepared to laughed out loud in the chapter entitled “I’m Divin’ In!” as she details their perilous river rafting excursion on the Nile River and “When The Puppy Eats Your Birth Control Pills” sums up chapter five without having to say much at all.

In Choosing to See, Mary Beth chronicles her early faith, growing up in a family where “everything has a place” that eventually lends itself to debilitating perfectionism, her courtship and subsequent marriage to future recording artist Steven Curtis Chapman, followed by the birth and adoption experiences of their six children. She pulls no punches in highlighting her own shortcomings and inequities, specifically those dealing with depression and anxiety, so that God’s work becomes the focus of her story.

On May 21, 2008, just eight days after her fifth birthday, Maria Sue was killed in a tragic accident at the Chapman’s Franklin, Tenn., home. Seventeen-year-old Will Chapman struck and fatally injured his youngest sister as he pulled into the family’s driveway and in an instant their lives where irrevocably changed. Mary Beth describes, in one of the books most heart-breaking moments, Steven Curtis yelling out the car window to his son who is broken and weeping on the front lawn, “Will Franklin! Just remember, your father loves you!”

This book is not about a cast of characters, but of a real family struggling with daunting questions in the aftermath of a parent’s worst nightmare. Where is God in it all? How could He allow harm to come to a precious child? As Mary Beth struggles to pick up the pieces after Maria’s death she posts on her blog, “I’m wandering in it with no clear path in front of me. It is a very desperate place to be, and on lots of days I’m strong on the outside but a mess on the inside.” She finds comfort in the continuous outpouring of prayers from across the globe and reveals that even in her disbelief and sadness she is “trusting that God saw fit to entrust us to steward this catastrophic loss well. May He be honored…”

Although there is no proverbial happy ending, the Chapman’s are learning to live a new normal that includes “doing their best to honor the One who blessed us with Maria for five beautiful years.” As she goes into her second year of grieving, Mary Beth has Hope for how their story ends as she longs for a time when she can see the giggly little girl who will escort her into the arms of Jesus. She is choosing to SEE His story, to acknowledge His sovereignty and accept the plan He has for her.

About the Author:
April Lakata Cao is a native of Northern Virginia and currently resides in Virginia Beach, Va., where she has just completed her eighth move in eleven years of marriage. April and her husband, a graduate of the United States Naval Academy, have two beautiful children ages four and seven. Visit her blog, Amazing Grace, at  www.intoourheart.blogspot.com.