For Those Fearful Nights
The wind creaks, our house moans, and rain pounds on our roof. During the day, these sounds wouldn’t bother me as much. But at night, when the world is dark and my husband is far away, it’s scary. I do my best not to think about it, but there have been times when it truly sounds like someone is downstairs, opening and shutting doors, and making me oh-so-afraid.
I’ve never liked being alone at night. Before my little girl arrived, I would actually lock myself in my room, with my phone, before I went to sleep. That’s no longer an option with a child in the mix. I am here to make her feel safe as she sleeps at night.
And so I try to not let my imagination get carried away. I try my best to not think about everything that could happen.
Instead, I give those very real fears over to Jesus. I give them to Him, before they consume me. I’m not sure I would ever sleep if I held on to these concerns. I pray for protection over every corner, every doorpost of our house. I pray for peace when we sleep. And I pray for the safety of my husband fighting overseas.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.” (Psalm 46: 1-3, NIV)
These words remind me of the powerful, all-knowing nature of our God. There is nothing that is out of His control, nothing that is out of His powerful hands.
During a deployment fears seem to come to the forefront. Everything that might, scare me seems to be amplified. I’m afraid for my own safety, without my husband home to protect me. I’m afraid for his safety while he’s fighting overseas.
That’s why turning to Scripture is so integral to me. When I turn to God’s word, I’m reminded that I’m never truly alone and that there really is nothing to fear in this world. Sometimes it just takes a moment to remind myself of where my focus should be– not on my fears, but on my Creator.
Lonely nights can either be terrifying or times to fellowship with my Savior. While this deployment season is a long one, I’m starting to treasure the extra moments, in the middle of the night, when I can share my fears with Jesus and listen for His direction.
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.’” (Psalm 46:10, NIV)
My all-powerful God is more than able to handle my fears today and always.
And so I trust Him to protect me in my dreams, protect my daughter down the hall, and protect my husband, wherever he may be on this night.
Megan K. Chaney received her Masters of English from the University of Dayton in 2008. Shortly after, she married her best friend and started off on a great adventure as a military spouse. Since then, they’ve moved over 1000 miles from home and have welcomed a daughter into their home. Visit her blog at www.deployedheart.com.